Canary Wharf, E14

The towering, pyramid-topped monolith that dominates the skyline of Canary Wharf was the centrepiece of the development when it opened but shortly afterwards it became apparent that there was a minor flaw in the design as, in the rush to create a futuristic business capital for Europe the architects had forgotten to include any toilets in the entire building. Subsequently, anyone wishing to use the lavatory was obliged to make their way outside to the nearby public conveniences, but these facilities were far too small to cope with thousands of desperate office workers and before long huge queues had formed. The workers spent an enormous amount of time away from their desks as a result, which had a devastating effect on the British economy that has been cited by some City historians as one of the major factors in causing the Black Wednesday crash of 1992. An emergency cabinet meeting was called, during which John Major approved emergency funds to build toilets in the office building and they were completed the following month, but a statue was also erected outside the public lavatories depicting two figures sitting forlornly as they wait to use the toilets, as a permanent reminder of human folly.

Piccadilly Circus, W1

Originally Published in Time Out London, July 23-29, 2009

The original toilets in Piccadilly Circus station, though now closed and replaced by some impressively clean and modern facilities, were to many people the archetypal London public toilets due to their combination of appalling sanitary conditions, used heroin needles and peculiar grunting noises coming from the cubicles, and tourists from all over the world visited them to see a slice of authentic London life. For many years, school trips would include a visit to them in their itineraries and children used to enjoy collecting the used needles they found on the floor until health and safety-obsessed killjoys put a stop to the practice in the mid 1990s.

  On a state visit to the toilets in 1998 Prince Charles praised their 'wonderfully quaint and authentic charms' and when their closure was announced in 2001 he led a campaign to keep them open by attempting to have them declared a World Heritage Site; the closure went ahead, but many people felt that a part of London's history had been lost forever. However, Prince Charles, always keen to preserve Britain's heritage, bought the original fixtures and fittings in 2002 and had a life-size replica of the toilets made, which can now be enjoyed as part of the Buckingham Palace tour.

Trafalgar Square, WC2

The public toilet located in Trafalgar Square was actually built as the result of a mix up, as when the two men commissioned to design the monument in the square, E H Baily and William Railton, began work they remembered the British propaganda campaign that claimed Napoleon had extremely small genitals and assumed that the reason the statue was to be named 'Nelson's Column' was that it would celebrate the famous military leader's manhood and virility; subsequently they set about designing a 170 foot representation of Admiral Nelson's phallus. Concerned that such a monument would remind visitors of their need to urinate they included some public toilets in their plans, but the officials to whom they submitted their design were aghast upon seeing the proposal, insisting that the statue should depict all of Lord Nelson and (despite Baily’s protests) that it be fully clothed.

     Baily and Railton had spent a lot of time on their plans, so after lengthy discussions a compromise was reached: the statue would depict Nelson in his entirety but to compensate them for the time they had already spent, the design for the toilet would be retained. This was built according to their plans and has been enjoyed by visitors ever since.